Hypercarotenosis?

Carrots sprouted unplanted in my garden, presumably from compost, but instead of long, symmetrical, uniconical down-growths, they spread laterally through the barely penetrable virgin clay to produce nutritious but commercially incorrect deformities — some anthropomorphic. Potential cannibalistic nightmares inhibited my appetite, and the “hand of fate” spent two months desiccating on the laundry windowsill before it was returned to the compost.