The Christmas e-list (an ode to big data)

’Twas the month before Christmas and all around town^∗
children could be seen busy writing ideas down.
Suzy, for example, was a girl of 10 years;
living the good life without any fears.

With frantic taps on her tablet she wrote musings down
thinking of all of the gifts she hoped would abound.
When suddenly what should appear?
Automated ads for a talking toy reindeer!

This startled young Suzy so she ran to her mama
who calmly explained it was the work of big data.^†
With the help of these ads Suzy quickly finished her list
Adding hyperlinks and photos to aid and assist.

Suzy’s Christmas list grew in a zip
including a trampoline, Fitbit and a holiday trip.
And so with a click, a tap and a scroll
off went her list towards the North Pole.

Meanwhile … tucked away in their workshop
Old St Nick and the elves were working non-stop.
A chime marked the receipt of a new Christmas list;
an alarm to ensure that no one is missed.

Suzy’s list was uploaded to the workshop’s mainframe
where algorithms cross-referenced sources by name.
Connecting data is part of the process
ensuring Santa’s continued success.

Determining who is naughty and who is nice
is far more complicated than a roll of the dice.
Using big data and all of its power
yields the results in under an hour.

First on her list is a backyard trampoline
growing in popularity and ideal for a pre-teen.
However, a check of national hospital databases
would identify a rise in trampoline injury cases.4

Next up on the list is a brand new Fitbit
undoubtedly chosen to help keep Suzy fit.
Santa knows the national average of steps is too low;5
data from Suzy’s smartphone also suggest room to grow.

Last up is a request for a holiday spree
Santa chuckles, oh to be young and free.
Alas the supercomputer quickly sets the alarm
a high number of measles cases could result in harm!

Luckily Suzy was prepared for this problem unseen
her health records indicate she has received the vaccine.6
And so the supercomputer comes to the aid of Santa
choosing the best gifts with the help of big data.

With Christmas Eve on the horizon
Santa armed with his data is much more the wizened.
The elves could hear him exclaim, as he dashed out into the sleet
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all”1 sufficient sleep!^‡

Notes:

^∗This poem was inspired by the classic holiday poem A visit from St Nicholas, best known as ’Twas the night before Christmas.1

^†Big data refers to “datasets whose size is beyond the ability of typical database software tools to capture, store, manage, and analyze”.2 It is also a buzzword that has exploded onto the scene of health informatics3 and involves the processing and interpretation of massive amounts of complex data from various sources.

^‡Sleep guidelines suggest school-aged children, youth and adults achieve 9–11, 8–10 and 7–9 hours of sleep per night, respectively.7,8