What boys need: a sense of “belonging”

If we are to raise healthy boys, we may need to re-examine our values

Many of the studies looking at health in adolescent boys and girls suggest that the fostering of resilience, derived from a sense of “belonging”, is of prime importance.1 This is in accord with recent endocrinological findings which demonstrate that, being social mammals, humans have a genetically programmed need for “bonding” mediated by the hormone oxytocin, which is generated by touch and sex.2 Such bonding is not just to a sexual partner but involves a web of belonging that permeates multiple strata in the total community. The feeling of belonging results from many things, including connections with parents and families, and adult support for independence and competency. Reflecting on my personal experiences as a boy, then a man, teacher, husband, step-father, father, grandfather and general practitioner, I would like to give my opinion of what young men need to help them develop a feeling of belonging.