The Olympic Games should be the pinnacle of sporting achievement, a showcase of the highest athleticism that can be reached by men and women. However, at present, it is estimated that only about 50% of sportspeople take advantage of the performance-enhancing medications developed through the wonders of modern science. This pharmacological nihilism is disappointing. If our best unmedicated athletes can achieve similar performances to those whose performances are pharmacologically enhanced, then how much better might they do with the benefit of modern medical science?

What is needed is a level playing field. A fertilised one. We propose that, in future, no athlete should be allowed to compete in the Olympic Games without making maximum use of the miracles of modern medicaments and designer drugs. The Games could then be renamed the Pharmacological Olympic Games. The sponsorship possibilities are infinite.

All performing athletes will be required to have drug tests at the start and end of competition. Those refusing to provide samples of blood and urine will not be allowed to compete. Any athlete whose samples test negative for performance-enhancing drugs will be sent home in disgrace.

The accepted reference work for the sporting pharmacopoeia is MIMS-Sportif.

The Pharmacological Olympic Games will showcase the best of what medicine and sport have to offer when the aggressive therapeutics of the heroic physician are harmoniously combined with the ruthless competitiveness of the world-class athlete. Let the Games begin!