Beyond the machismo | |
What men don’t talk about. Maggie Hamilton. Melbourne: Penguin Australia, 2006 (x + 364 pp). ISBN 0 670 02879 7. |
What makes a man a man? Once this might have been a simple question. Since feminism and sociobiology, however, things have got a lot more complicated. Firstly, there is the distinction between sex and gender. Sex is a matter of being biologically male or female. Gender is a broader concept, incorporating social roles, norms and psychological traits, and is a key determinant of personal identity. Spaces and objects, as well as people, may be gendered: a Hummer is masculine, while a Ford Focus, even without a chihuahua accidentally left on the roof, is more feminine. Much of the argument has been about whether gender differences are intrinsic or constructed (by biology or society), and how society has developed in the face of these differences. There are a number of opinions about this. Philosophers like Luce Iragaray believe gender differences are intrinsic, but historically the feminine has been overlooked; evolutionary psychologists like Helena Cronin view them as largely biological and the result of natural selection; and those “second wave” feminists see sex as biological but gender as an artificial, political construct. Maggie Hamilton is not a philosopher; she is an Australian writer and publisher with an interest in personal development. Perhaps sensibly, she does not buy into the contentious issue of whence gender arises, though her book might have been more interesting if she did. Growing up with feminism, she assumed that, although women had suffered under patriarchy, life for men must be pretty good. Prompted by a range of personal experiences and the alarming increase in male suicides, she came to realise that men experience their share of gender-related suffering too, and that she had little understanding of men beyond anecdote and stereotype. This book, drawing on a range of interviews with men and psychologists and other therapists who deal with them, is an attempt to overcome that deficit. It examines the ways in which stereotyped expectations of masculinity affect men at all stages of their life cycles, from infancy to old age. If there is one key message, it would be “don’t be fooled by appearances”. Men have feelings, men need affection, men are vulnerable, men need to communicate — even though they are not always very good at it. In short, men are nowhere near as tough or self-sufficient as they look. It seems to me that how useful this book will be — to a doctor or a patient — will depend on how uncritically they have previously accepted male stereotypes. Someone who has been taking the conventional image of masculinity at face value will find its many encounters with real men and their manifold vulnerabilities very illuminating. Those who have already critically engaged with the male psyche as subjects, partners, family members, friends or clinicians may want something a little more scholarly. Simon Cowap
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